Bomb squad

I'm not going to lie. I haven't loved today. Does anyone have any ideas on how to help your house survive toddler-hood, more specifically Dallin's toddler-hood? In the last week he's broken: the door on the tv armoire (split down the middle as he joyfully slammed it into the mantle), his closet door (ripped out of the track and wheel broken off as he scaled the contents of his closet), and one shelf and a drawer in the fridge (I woke this morning to a loud crash - he'd gone downstairs and had opened the fridge and was climbing it). I cannot leave him for five, nay, two minutes without him getting into something - and I have a pretty baby proof house. Yesterday, within seriously two minutes of leaving my sight, he managed to get into my closet, locate the orange oil furniture polish, and begin basting himself with it amidst all my clothing. As I type, I'm sitting in the stairwell so that when (not if) he comes out of his room, I can intercept him before he goes in and wakes up Logan. We'll do this for the next hour, probably, and he's exhausted. It's a good thing he's cute.